Love, Elena: Friendships

Love, Elena: Friendships

Elena Nasar, Editor and Advice Columnist

Dear Elena,

Last year, I had a close friend who later on bullied me and stopped talking to me. I am very lucky to have many other friends who truly care about me, but it makes me wonder if I did something wrong, or if I’m a bad friend.  I feel like the rude remarks they made were true and I’m struggling with my self-esteem. I don’t understand why this happened.



Dear Anonymous,

I understand how you feel. When someone you care about says something hurtful to you it is hard to know how to react, but trust me, you are a good friend. You will feel many mixed emotions. Losing friendships is probably one of the hardest things to go through, in my opinion at least. But it happens in many different ways. Sometimes it is a matter of distance and sometimes it is a matter of something personal. Either way, it hurts and is hard to cope with. One thing to remember is that you must focus on the right people. You should focus on the people who are there for you and care about you, not the people who tried to put you down. Another piece of advice I have is to find a way to make a new friend. Some ways I have made new friends over these years are by joining new clubs and trying to talk to new people in my classes. One thing I have learned is that just saying hi to someone can lead to an amazing friendship.



One thing no one tells you about middle school is that friends come and go. It might sound bad to you, but when I feel this way I remember that everything happens for a reason and we must accept the fact that people change, especially in middle school. The change isn’t always bad; it’s just different and sometimes hard to understand. I know that making new friends is easier said than done because it is hard to talk to new people. You don’t know them at all and don’t know if they will really be a good friend. Either way, it is always worth trying. As we all have, I have met many new people in middle school that are now some of the people I trust most. The most important thing to remember is that friends who say mean things about you and do things to upset you on purpose are not real friends. Keep in mind, most people who do this probably don’t have a problem with you, they were just peer pressured or influenced by others to change, If you have friends like these and feel like you have no other option, remember that you have the most power over your decisions and you should be confident in yourself because there will always be someone out there who truly cares about you. For some, it just takes longer to find them.