We all know the stories of the underdog team who ends up winning the football championship, or the girl who gets the leading role in a play, but there hasn’t ever been a movie or a story that young kids listen to about disappointment. Most kids and adults are going to deal with more disappointment in their lives than the movies or books show. That’s why it’s important to understand how to deal with feelings of loss or disappointment and abolish the same phrase that goes through everyone’s head at least once; “I must not be good enough.” To start, everyone is good enough. But when you don’t make the championship, or get cast as the maid instead of the princess, comprehending and moving past the loss is what allows future success.

The first step to treating disappointment is to let it out. We are all humans with emotions and feelings, and no one can ignore that fact. When you feel the anger, sadness, and confusion brewing inside of you when something doesn’t go the way you planned it to, let it out. Cry, binge-watch your favorite T.V. show, and do what treats your anger. Also, let someone else know. Sharing feelings with your best friend, parent, or guardian can be extremely helpful because it allows you to realize that you are not alone. Remember, everyone has moments like these, it’s all part of life. Sometimes, a good cry can leave you feeling ready to take on whatever obstacle you need to face next.

After letting your disappointment out, there is only one direction to move, and that is up. Do not ever compare yourself to others during the process of removing disappointment, because if anything sends you back down the hill, it’s comparison. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time, because it never leaves you feeling happy, and it does not help you overcome your disappointment. There is a quote that states, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” You could spend all day thinking about your flaws and wishing to be just like the person who got the lead role, but the truth is, you will never really know that person or what they are going through. Instead, try to remind yourself of the reason you pursue your passion. Is it because you truly, wholeheartedly love what you do, or is it only because you crave the feeling of winning, or succeeding? If you find your answer to be the second, one, maybe you have to rethink your intent for pursuing your hobby. After all, if a hobby makes someone sad every day, then there is no point in pursuing it. Now, if you answered the question with the first option, continue to remind yourself of that every day. No one denies that getting through disappointment is hard. Still, it might be a bit easier to bear when you understand that your intention for say basketball is not to win every game, but to continuously make yourself a better teammate and player.

Finally, you have made it to the last step of tackling disappointment. Without a doubt, this is the hardest step: Acceptance. Now, acceptance is a very unnatural feeling for many people, which is completely understandable. After striving towards a goal for so long, and then not being able to accomplish it, your brain might need a little time to understand that they are done striving towards the goal. No matter how long this takes, whether it be weeks or months, acceptance is key to handling all disappointment. The second you learn to accept the situation at hand, the better off you will be.

For those of you who read this article and pray that your disappointment will magically disappear after these three steps, you will never succeed in overcoming disappointment. The key to anyone finding a way out of the seemingly endless tunnel of sadness is to come to terms with disappointment and realize that it will never truly go away. The best way to deal with disappointment is to come to terms with it. While it might creep back once in a while, push it into the darkness again by working the hardest you can, no matter the outcome of any situation. Overcoming disappointment might not always guarantee success, but what it can do is allow you to live your life happily.